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Her life isn’t going the way she wants and she just can’t figure out why.With men, she might complain that they just “don’t get her,” but the truth is that she’s giving them every reason to head for the hills with her off-handed comments and negativity.When he passes those tests or shows he has feelings for her, she questions it and might up the ante.She picks fights, picks the wrong guys, or maneuvers relationships to end because it gives her control.I’ve talked to countless single men over the years about their experiences with women, especially those in midlife and beyond.Here are some of their stories of dating after 40; dating that never turned into relationships, this is.She mistrusts men and often blames herself for the rejection she’s felt, believing that she just wasn’t good enough.She says things like “I need him to say he wants a relationship, and then I’ll open up,” or “Once he gets to know me, he probably won’t like me.” The Scaredy Cat may put her guy through lots of tests before she feels confident that he’s truly interested.
The 18 Year Old The 18-year-old dates – sometimes a lot – but she doesn’t have relationships because “she doesn’t want the men who want her, and the men she wants don’t want her.” She doesn’t know what will make her happy and has not yet learned how to communicate and relate to grownup men.
The Bitter Gal The Bitter Gal is angry — usually about everything, but especially about men. A guy never has a chance, even he is the nicest guy in the world and really likes her.
(Which usually doesn’t last very long since, no matter how pretty and smart she is, she is no fun to be around.) The truth is that The Bitter Gal has been playing the victim for most (if not all) of her life.
This “I’m never going to find a good relationship” gal leaves men unable to get any traction during courting or in a relationship.
The wall she has erected is just too high for him to climb in order to get to the other side.
Since trust and affection are what men yearn for from women, he usually does her a favor and leaves…hence rendering her “right” once again.