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As La Mon noted, it all comes down to “the age-old question of when you disclose” your transgender identity.La Mon prefers to be out about his gender with potential dates.On Mesh, people only see a trans person’s profile if they’ve already indicated they’re open to dating transgender people.This has the potential to make online dating more thorough and more fruitful, but safety and acceptance for trans people who date online may take more than an algorithm.
Most people who meet Colleen don’t know she’s transgender.
After La Mon transitioned from female to male, he didn’t change his gender to “male” on his OKCupid profile; instead, he started a second profile where he identified as “male.” He kept the female profile active because he thinks that some women who typically date other women might also be interested in dating transgender men.
In both profiles he makes it clear that he is “a trans guy” and that people should “only message me if you’re cool with that.” Part of the need for this complicated negotiation is that OKCupid doesn’t allow users to identify as “transgender”—just “male” or “female.” The site has been in the news this week after cofounder Christian Rudder announced that developers secretly changed some people's compatibility ratings and removed profile photos to learn more about behavior on the site.
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In order to give your profile every chance of success, it is visible to over-50s members of our general dating services using the same platform.
While some have criticized OKCupid for showing people false or manipulated content as an experiment, the site's failure to accommodate transgender users may be a larger and more long-standing ethical dilemma.